Our Final Goodbye

Goodbye

I said goodbye to you today although it was not my choice. Rather, it is what life demands. My heart is badly broken and yearns to have you here…but I know that it could no longer be. The devastating fact is, our lives together have come to an end… under tragic circumstances. As I sit here at our kitchen table I am thinking about how happy our lives were together, and what will no longer be. The kitchen has become my favorite place in the house. It is filled with beautiful memories of you. I am drinking coffee out of your favorite cup while I sit across from the chair where you would normally be.

We were enjoying our usual evening walk when suddenly a car appeared. Neither you nor I saw it coming until it was much too late. Your kind soul, your bravery, and your love for me trumped even the possibility of you avoiding danger for yourself only. You would have certainly been here today if that was the case. I was clearly going to get hit, but you pushed me out of the way. It happened so fast, we both were on the ground; but it was me who was able to stand up unharmed, while your body lay mangled on the pavement... twisted, bloody, and lifeless. You saved my life. It was your decision that I should live.

You pushed me out of danger’s path not hesitating for a moment. Instead of both of us meeting our death, it would be only one of us. I suppose that is the way fate would have it that day. Since then it seems that I’ve been living in a daze. It’s as if my life is one continuous fog. I barely know who I am anymore…what to do, where to go, or what to say. I am thankful for our families who stepped in to help me. I was at a lost. I simply could not have handled things properly.

And although I said goodbye to you at the graveyard today, I know that your spirit is still here with me. As I sit here at our kitchen table and look out of the window, I can see visions of you and feel your spirit with me. I can easily see the beautiful flowers growing in our garden we planted together not too long ago. I didn’t realize at the time that I would sit here and look at the flowers and be reminded of your beauty, your bravery, and your love. I could never forget the joy you brought into my life…your strong commitment to me that complimented our love.

Our time together was much too short but I will treasure it always. I didn’t get the chance to tell you that our only child will be born next fall. I only found out about it the morning of your untimely death. I planned to tell you know after we returned home that night. Unfortunately, it was not to be. I would never get the chance. I thank God that our love was a special love, which created a special gift that I very much look forward to receiving.